My freezer, which once held the bounties of nature and pre-packaged delights, has forever changed. No longer is it a place to freely inspect, to gleefully rummage or to speculate about its hidden wonders. Where once I moved confidently and boldly in this frozen kingdom, I am now uncertain and timid. Mysterious disappearances and strange appearances have left me questioning the sanctity of this chow repository.

The frigidarium of delight as I once knew it has transformed into a frozen time-share coffin for anemic, lilliputian mice. Tiny, furry white creatures with little pink noses and feet appear at random for the unsuspecting visitor. Lined up as if caught in suspended animation, the mouse filled baggie may lay next to the waffles, the bag of frozen peas or the ice cube tray. There’s no apparent rhyme or reason to their appearance, location or disappearance. I know what they’re for, and Gracie needs to eat, but knowing that doesn’t bring back the freezer glory days.

As if this wasn’t enough trauma for the wife of a falconer to bear (drama alert), the surprise “donation” of the $7 organic, Springer Mountain Farm, boneless, skinless chicken tenderloin dinner-to-be to our lovely hawk, would have put any cook into shock. I know that there were good, valid reasons for Gracie to eat poultry on that day, but knowing that doesn’t bring back my future Chicken Scaloppine with Lemons, Capers and Tomatoes.

I am sure that this is just the beginning and that I’ll have many more culinary and cold storage adventures to share, but as a tip to all would-be falconers and falconer’s wives, don’t confuse a mouse with a chicken or you may end up with  White Chocolate Mouse Parfaits with Strawberries.

P.S. It’s late and I can’t stop thinking of mouse recipes…Italian Style Spaghetti and Mouseballs, Verminicelli, Greek Mouseaka, Ratatouille (obvious one), getting tired now, you probably have some, too!

  • The Falconer's

    The first words my husband spoke to me when he woke up this morning were
    … "mouseroni and cheese."

    I guess he must have been dreaming of recipe mousehaps, too.

  • TW

    OMG! That is sooo funny! I have mouse recipies floating through my head now…thanks. Wow, hope that if my husband goes this direction we can find another storage place, nothing like a late night snack becoming a tramatic experience for an 11 year old….Lol. Mousicles…

  • The Falconer (the &q


  • Colleen

    mousechimmichunga, fajita mouse quesadilla,
    General mouz chicken, mouse in a blanket, mouscits and gravy, mouseburrito, three mouseketeer bar, mousekadine wine,
    Mices on the half shell, micekrispies!!

  • Colin

    Pasta a la rodente
    Crepe souris

  • The Falconer's

    Here are some other recipe mousehaps that were submitted:
    Herbed Chicken Mousala
    Boca Raton Burger
    Rodent House Blue Plate Special
    Mouse Loaf
    Steamed Mousles
    Minute Mice and San Francisco Sewer Treats
    Mice & Beans
    Rat Etouffe
    Rat Linguini
    Mouse Pot Pie
    Mouseburger Helper
    Cajun Style Dirty Mice, Chased with a Dirty Rattini
    Mice Pilaf

    And for desserts:
    Rattatootie Fruitie Icecream
    Micecream Cone
    For something creamier – Gelratto
    Italian Mice
    Mousemeat Pie
    Mice Pudding
    Lemon Verminbena Pie

    And to chase it all down, a few coffee delights:
    Cafe Amousicana
    Iced Caramel Mousiato

  • barb

    Oh, how I smiled at this! When my now-grown sons were in 10th grade Biology, they collected road kill (small animals, thank goodness) for their teacher. They also once skinned a dead squirrel and put it into the freezer without wrapping it! I reached in for something and came in contact with its sharp little (frozen) claws. Needless to say, that was the last of my sons' Biology "experiments."

  • cousin's wife

    We are in definite need of a mousegarita (or is it a margarata) to calm the nerves from freezer exploration trauma. Don't even get me started on the chicks!

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